I was visiting a local attraction up in the Rockies [okay, so it was a Steam Engine train, which I’m crazy about] on Saturday with my husband and had to use the 'facilities'. Okay, so the stage for our little drama is set.
From the stall next to me, came “Good Job!”
Then no more than five seconds later, “Good Job!”
When it happened for the third time, I have to admit, I was thinking, WTF?
Surely she’s not doing that to a child, about a simple bodily function.
Well…… maybe she has a shy bladder and she’s just encouraging herself….Yeah, okay, that’s probably it; a bit weird, but okay…
Then I heard the stall door open, the faucet turn on, then off and the sound of paper towels dispensing. Each task was followed by “Good Job!”
I just stood in my stall waiting for them to leave, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide the look or horror I had on my face.
Oh, shut up! I know it’s not any of my business, but I suddenly had a strong regret for not going into psychology for the millions of kids who would grow up to need therapy because of this kind of bullshit.
I get the whole building Self Esteem thing, but does an empty parroted phrase ‘good job’ actually do that? No, I do not believe it does and/or ever will. This is building unrealistic expectations for adult life.
How about simply NOT judging. I not advocating to never reprimand your spawn, you certainly should. My dad just had to give me ‘the look’ and I stopped cold in my tracks, yet I hear mothers say over and over again, ‘We don’t do that’. Well, mom, one of YOU is doing that.
I’ve seen kids bite and slap their moms with the same, ‘stop that’ crap. I cannot imagine what kind of adult these moms think they are raising.
Instead, lead by example, and teach your children one of the truest statements ever uttered: Some you win, some you lose and some are rained out. I’d have that tattooed on my chest, but there’s no room with the battleship and all……
As some ad I heard on television said: ‘When do you earn a trophy just for showing up?’ I don’t know what they were selling, but the thought is valid [except for T-ball]. Babies all deserve trophies, and to wear baseball hats backwards.
You know what makes a child feel like a failure? It’s not the losing, it’s been told your whole life that you can do anything you set your mind to, and THEN failing.
Would that destroy the child? Probably not, but they sure as hell would wonder about YOU and their bogus value structure.
But, if you reeeally want it more than anyone else, and you reeeally try….. you say.
No. No, no, no, no! A one legged man will NEVER win an ass kicking contest and the Octomom will NEVER marry Prince Harry.
It’s a fact. Believe it.
Your child IS a very special, one-of-a-kind personage; just like everyone else.
And that’s not a bad thing.
