The more I think about past 'friends', the more I think that
Self Promotion, or rather preservation, is just part of human nature. Let's look at... I’ll call
I worked with him at two companies.
Then I took a
great contract that paid exceptionally well, where I had to put
together a team for a long running project. Since it required software
and organizational skills, and I thought of LP. He was thrilled since it
paid double what he was currently making.
Everything was going smoothly until it was mentioned that the company
was thinking of bringing one of us on permanently. LP wasn’t comfortable
with contracts and wanted a permanent position. I made it clear that I
didn’t want it, but that’s when everything changed.
had unscheduled meetings with department heads, lunches, and a lot of
whispering. Although I was the Project Team Manager, people started
going to him, even though he had no decision-making authority and was
not a project manager.
The project finished, I moved on to
another, but that was the last time I saw or spoke to LP. He had been
the right person for the team and I wanted to help him, but he betrayed
our friendship, and for what? I didn’t want the job and made it clear
from the beginning.
Is it just human nature to be competitive
even if there’s no contest? We had some good times together, but to me,
trust is everything. Sad.
Don't buy into the self preservation thing, unless it's absolutely necessary. I"m not talking about self-sacrifice, martyrs never survive. I'm talking about helping / mentoring others, as long as its not to your own determent.
I contracted for a very large project; the only woman and
eighteen men. I was drowning in testosterone… Finally, the manager hired three more women, one of which was TP.
From the very beginning she was whining about, well, everything,
but I work with engineers, so I was used to that.
Everyone is different and I’ve learned over the years to
accept and even embrace that.
TP was somehow sad
and bitter. I treated her as a
friend, even though she seldom smiled and never [and I mean never had anything nice to say about
anything or anyone]. She was a real team killer. Luckily, I wasn’t on the same
team, but the woman who is still my BFF, was. Just being around TP was
Example: One afternoon TP and I were talking about a shoe sale
at Nordstrom’s when the manager walked by on the way to a meeting, and she said
in a very loud voice:
“Oh, my God, I’m so embarrassed! I can’t believe you said
He stopped, looked back and from the bewildered look on my face, he kinda’ smiled.
All I could say was "what the hell?” TP scurried off without
After the meeting, he came to me and asked ‘what the heck is
wrong with her’?
I said my guess was she was trying to be funny. [This
particular company didn’t allow end fighting, so I was being nice]
That was the beginning of a long string of that kind of
behavior. It wasn’t just me, but pretty much everyone, and in earshot of
management, and playing team members against each other. The classic political
maneuver: ‘trying to make yourself look good by crapping on everyone else’.
What follows is totally MYfreakin’ fault. I was offered a
great job with a national company that would go perm within a few months, so I
accepted and recommended my BFF. TP came to me crying that the manager hated
her [true], he was going to fire her [probably], and she had nowhere to go. She
begged me to recommend her….
Yep, I felt sorry for her and agreed with the following
conditions: No throwing anyone under the bus, leaving the negative attitude at
home, and no making yourself look good by denigrating anyone else.
She said, “Of course!” That should have been my first clue
that she DID NOT make the connection of the conditions and her behavior.
The funny thing was that she fit right in, culturally. She crossed so many lines I can’t
even see them in the rear view. I moved on to a better place in all possible
Would I ever consider trying to fix that friendship? Hell no!
As a wise man tells me all the time: “You can’t save them all…..”
I have a friend who just turned 60 and refers to herself as a cougar.
She insists that you’re a cougar until you turn 65.
Really? I don’t think so. She damned good looking for her age, but…. no man in his 20’s or 30’s would ask her out, even it if were just for sex [especially just for sex]. Let’s face it, a sexual encounter is easy to get.
So as an ex-project manager that I am, I did some research and this is what is commonly accepted:
Minx = 20’s
Puma = 30’s
Cougar = 40’s
Sabertooth = 50’s and beyond…
I agree with most of this; it makes sense, except I’d stretch the cougar state to 40 thorough 59, but when you hit 60, you are definitely a Sabertooth.
So what exactly is the difference between and cougar besides the age difference?
Glad you asked! A cougar is a woman in the 40’s or so, looking for a sexual hookup [which is not bad] with a younger man. She’s not really looking for commitment or anything beyond red-hot monkey sex [again, not bad].
Cougars seem to be [but not always][ looking for validation of their sexual attractiveness. Let’s face it, a man is attracted as long as the woman doesn’t scream or mace him. So, what wrong with a fling? NOTHING!
Sabertooths will date younger men, men their own age or older men. There just doesn’t seem to be that quiet desperation attachment to them that you sometimes see in cougars.
Oh, please, stop saying bullshit. Case in point, just look at ‘Desperate Housewives’ or ‘Housewives of anywhere.” Now that’s desperation, quiet or not!
Asan unapologetic feminist, I cannot fathom how ANY woman could support Romney.
He is ANTI WOMEN. If you do not care about your rights, then think about your daughters and their daughters rights in a country without PLANNED PARENTHOOD, absolutely no abortion even in cases of rape or incest. And so much more.
You don't have to believe me, but look up his speeches and see that he is no more than a fifth century zealot.
All women are a sisterhood, no matter race, religion and political affiliation. AND we are the majority in this country. WE have the power, if we'd just band together and USE it.