The Dark Side of BLOGS...

If you follow and contribute to any blog, eventually you will find that there’s always a pompous ass in the mix; a know-it all, a troll who thinks they are the smartest one on the web… period.

How can we make them play nice, or if necessary, shut them up?  Okay, so I say them, but usually it’s a him. Don’t know why, I’m just reporting the facts as I see them. And, yes, I am painting with a very wide brush.

But you have to be careful lest you become just another pompous ass. Just for clarification, I AM NOT a pompous ass - I am a pundit. See the difference? Yes, I know you would. Okay, back to the topic.

Once on a writer’s blog, it seems that I offended a cockney head-banger, and he kept after me, one insult after another. Then he made the mistake of referring to me as a tart [and not the yummy, pastry kind].

Rather than get in to a battle of insults, I played the ultimate STFU card with:

“Oh, Lambchop, don’t judge all women by your wife.” He stopped and never bothered me again.

Now, before I hear how mean I was… many writers thanked me for shutting him up. I know, I could have just called him a ‘Poo-poo head’, but he was escalating, and I was pissed. Actually, I consider my response quiet constrained and clever.

So, maybe I am a little pompous; such is the personality of a writer.

He was a cyber-bully, and as with all bullies, you have to make them stop, and not take the abuse. Is it really that easy? [still painting with a wide brush]; YES.

Peace, and if that doesn’t work; get ‘em!

When you travel outside the US… DON’T BE THE UGLY AMERICAN

Strive to be a ‘local’ everywhere you go. I’m serious; you’ll have a much better trip, better memories and a hell of a lot more fun. I know it’s hard for some to understand that most parts of the world aren’t very fond of us, but it’s true. So no chanting, “We’re number one”, because I doubt that we are anymore.

Make eye contact, smile and say ‘hello’ in whatever language that’s proper. I know, I know… we speak English, so everyone should. Fact: some don’t, some don’t want to, and some do, but won’t admit it. Get over it. Let’s try to change the world’s perception of us, one tourist at a time.

Yes, it will freak some people out, but I found out early on that you just DO NOT SPEAK to anyone when visiting Manhattan. God, don’t smile or even make eye contact, or you’ll probably be met with a string of swear words worthy of a dockworker.

True story! We were in South America and a small child was selling sodas, and an old man from the mid west (US) was trying to barter with a five year old. I butted in (before my husband could stop me) and asked what he expected to accomplish by his behavior. He said, “They won’t respect you if you don’t barter.” She could not have been more than five years old, for Gods sake.

I turned to his wife and said, “You know your husband is an idiot, right?” And she said, “I know, God, how I know.”  The whole thing was lost on him.

Bartering with a baby. Really?   When you travel, please don’t be a dick!

Love, Peace and RESPECT!

JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS, WAITING TO DIE....…

A dear friend sent me a joke with a picture of a woman about 60+, holding a cell phone, looking very confused, followed by texting codes with their meanings. Things like:

                

           ATD:    At The Doctor's

           BFF:    Best Friend Fainted

           BTW:   Bring the Wheelchair

           BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

           LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

           LOL:     Living On Lipitor

           LWO:    Lawrence Welk's On

           WTFA:  Wet the Furniture Again

           WTP:    Where's The Prunes?

I fail to see the humor in assuming that people over… say 55 are non-technical, confused and/or useless.

Old farts are 'old' mainly because they accept being old. They're over medicated, standing in line to get their 10% off that crappy cup of coffee, or just sit around waiting to die. Is it inevitable? Oh hell, no!

We are doing some of it to ourselves. And from my observations, it is definitely regional - just a few examples:

Omaha, and the entire mid-west:

Women ~ wash/wear perms, house-dresses and rocking chairs on the front porch.

Men ~ suspenders with belts, overalls, plaid shirts buttoned all the way up. [Lord have mercy!]

Any place called SUN CITY, WEST of Kansas:

Women ~ bluish hair and brown nails, teased/lacquered hair.

Men ~ poofed/lacquered hair. [androgyny makes me nervous]

Any place EAST of Kansas:

Women ~ Same hair color as in high school, teased/lacquered;    the further east you go, the darker the hair. Way too heavy makeup, jewelry, perfume. Kinda’ of a Jersey Shore retirement snapshot. [Ewww - just puked a little!]

Men ~ hair dyed dark, along with mustache and eyebrows; everything except the prominent nose hair. Sox of any kind with sandals, or dark dress sox with white tennis shoes.

Yes, I am painting with a very wide brush, and there are always exceptions, but these are my perceptions.

Personally, I prefer the European elderly; aging gracefully, walking everywhere and being useful until the day they die.

We cannot refrain from dying, but we can resist decrepitude!

Love, Smile, Dance!