Myths, and Things I just Don’t Get

I just need to clear the cobweb on this lovely Friday morning.....

Why is Boston Market still open? Boston Markets only purpose (in my opinion) is to keep all other bad restaurants from being the worst place in town.

Eyebrows that look like they were drawn on with a Sharpie. I don’t get it, but maybe I’m behind times, but I do know that soft, penciled brows are more flattering to women over 50. I’m just saying….

Walk fast, carry a clipboard and look worried, make you look important. No, it just makes you look unorganized and ill-equipped to do your job.

Copying everyone you know on all your emails makes you look important and productive. WRONG! This one really pisses me off. DO NOT copy anyone just for fun; make it count, unless it’s a really good joke.

What is that crap in the center of a Twinkie? And why does it stay on your teeth until you brush again? Yikes, I just grossed myself out.

Muffin-tops are cute. I think this one must have been made up by the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. Yes, large women certainly have the right to wear anything they want, but a fat-tire protruding through between the t-shirt and jeans, is just plain nasty.

Girls get pleasure…. from riding horses. This one was made up by some horny teenage boy trying to explain why his girlfriend would rather ride her horse than spend time with him. Anyone who believes this should take a class in anatomy.

Budgets [home or business] are written in stone
Noooooooo…. A budget is only a probability statement; not an absolute pledge. 

I’ll do my best, so, phhhtt!

RULE # 1: Men may come and go, but women are a Sisterhood.

So, anyway… I was in for a haircut the other day and my beautician (about 38) was laughing about her mother (59) wanting to dating and have sex!          

I asked, “Oh, then she’s still alive?”

“Well, yes…”

                     

“Then why wouldn’t she still want red-hot monkey sex?”  There was no reply – just slack-jawed surprise.

          

Men and women of all ages are grossed out by the though of their parents having sex. I for one, am grossed out at the thought of my KIDS having sex. Ewww!

Puppies and kittens…. Puppies and kittens….  Puppies and kittens….

Women have to stop treating other women as if they’re some kind of threat. Most likely, they’re not. And if they are, then put the blame squarely where it belong, on your husband, for whatever reason.

FACT: A woman cannot ‘steal’ a man away. He freakin’ goes willingly, but we generally blame the other woman. I’m not saying I approve of a woman (married or single), dating a married man, but they are not the one that made and broke the marriage vows, now are they...

Twitching tracks here… but my husband and I went to a new steak house the other night and a cute young woman came to the table with two small plates. She smiled and placed them in front of us. The she said slowly… “These are for you appetizers”.

I wanted to laugh, but I just nodded and smiled that I understood, instead.

However, when she asked if she could explain anything to us on the menu, I replied, “No, thanks; we’ve played restaurant before”. Okay, so sometimes I’m a smart-ass, but only when faced with condescension. 

So, what is condescension? Is it just me being sensitive? I don’t think so. My rule for judging condescension is, Would they say/ask that of someone in their twenties? If they answer is ‘YES’, then it not condescension, but if the answer is ‘of course not’, then it sure as hell, is.

Thought? Let me know what you think!